The Knight in Shining Armor & Loser in Aluminum
by ArabianHermione
Summary: Love. It's like lightning you get struck once & Baby it kills..
1. Obviously stalking should be illegal

**The Knight in Shining Armor & The Loser in Aluminum Foil**

_Love. It's like lightning you get struck_ once _& Baby it **kills**_

**-x-x-x**

**Chapter 1: Obviously stalking should be illegal...**

_"__My Dearest Hermione,_

_I am writing today to apologize for my juvenile behavior. I can't bear the thought of you being angry at me, my beloved. How am I to deal with the fact of not being a satisfactory betrothed if I make my love angry? I hope you find it in your kind heart to forgive me, for I am nothing without you…_

_Mum__ sends her kisses, she positively adores you m__on chérie__, but then again who doesn't? Oh Hermione, I constantly count the days till our beautiful wedding. __Did you know that 206 days 4953 hours 297235 minutes and 17834135 seconds and counting are lef__t, my love? Of course you did, why I imagine you're even more excited to get married to yours truly!__ Who wouldn't be? Seeing as I'm Britain's most eligible bachelor. __I see why our parents have been so eager to see us get married; we're perfect for each other. _

_Love, I fear I must end my letter now.__. but before I do, I must inform you that those guards you sent last time are constantly finding ways to forbid me from seei__ng you. Where are you, precious? F__ear not, for I will find you__ like__ I__ always__ do, gorgeous__ Do write back to me this time, sweetheart._

_Love Always,_

_James__ B Cole__"_

* * *

"GAHHHH !!! James is driving me CRAZY!" Hermione yelled out to no one in particular. She was ready to tear all her hair out and commit suicide. She thought she told Brian and Adam to 'take care of him' for her. 

"Someone's going to get fired" She thought angrily.

Hermione Jean Granger was no ordinary 21 year old British witch, -well nothing sounded normal in that sentence, but still you get the drift- she was born from a very wealthy family of very high status.

Now it wasn't enough that she had been off to "boarding school" –the lie she had told all her relatives for the past 7 years at Hogwarts, although her parents only knew the truth- and battled Voldemort along Harry and Ron's side, but now she had to get married on the 14th of July –As James agonizingly reminded her every Goddamned letter he sent- to someone she loathed with every fiber of her being. Why her parents agreed to this, she could never understand. Every time she tried to convince them to call off this nightmare, her plea would fall on deaf ears.

Hermione hadn't contacted her friends in a long time; she really missed the lot of them. Hell- she would even be glad to see Malfoy! Speaking of Malfoy, she wondered what had happened to him... the last thing she recalled was rescuing him from a mad death eater alongside Harry and Ron.

_Ron..._now that was someone she really missed and was hoping to have a bright future with. But alas, she found out she was engaged to be married to some prissy boy after she came back from fighting Voldemort in her 7th year. She remembered hitting James were it hurt after he tried to kiss her. Honestly, the nerve of that man, she barely knew him and yet he was all over her.

Her mobile phone rang, interrupting her trail of thoughts.

"Good Afternoon" She answered in a trying-to-be-cherry voice.

"Hermione love, I see you're happy to hear from me!"

Oh no.. it was James. How on earth did he get this number?

"How did you get my number?" She brusquely replied.

She heard him laughing –the nerve of him.

"My dear, have you forgotten that we're engaged and that I know everything about you?"

She could almost see that smirk of his that she loathed.

"I've been trying to.." She muttered darkly.

"Wha-"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing.. dear" She gritted her teeth so badly that it hurt.

"Splendid!" Was his optimistic reply.

"Umm James, this is a really bad time and um I have to go okay bye bye darling say hi to your mother for me." She rushed and closed the phone before James replied.

5 minutes later she heard someone knocking on her door.

"Open the door sugar bear!

'Oh dear,' She thought.

"Hermione, it's your Jamesipoo"

"Just a second!" She grimaced. _'That son of a__-'_

"Darling, I'm getting rather tired of waiting!" James said in a sing song voice.

"..I'm taking a bath dear so it's not really a good time!"

But of course she was doing no such thing.

"I don't hear the water running!" Was his annoying reply, "do you think you're going to get rid of me that easily, sweetheart?"

Hermione quickly wet her hair and slipped on a robe mumbling incoherent words all the way to the door.

She was still thinking of ways to get rid of him.

She peered through that little glass peak hole in her door. Yup- it was him alright.

She didn't unlock her door but peered through the space it allowed.

"What do you want?" She grumbled looking up to his stupid bloody perfect face, he had perfect caramel hair, brilliant blue eyes and a blinding white smile. He was slighty taller than her and physically fit- not that she cared.

"Hermione, I think it's time we prepared for the wed-"

She shut the door.

God, was she never going to get rid of him?

That's when it her like a ton of bricks.

She _was never_ going to get rid of him.

But something caught her eye,_ "my wand"_ she whispered.

A terrifyingly mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. She rushed over to the table where her wand was and as soon as she touched it, evil thoughts began to form in that wicked mind of hers.

'Damn, no magic in front of muggles.' She remembered.

Perhaps she could cast the spell without him knowing? No.. it was far too risky and she could get her wand taken away..

She sighed, cursing her luck –she was doing a lot of that today- maybe she'd have better luck in the morning.

Hermione called in security and had the mad muggle removed from her doorstep.

She also made a mental note to change her mobile number and stay in a hotel for quite some time.

She yawned and immediately fell asleep, having pleasant dreams of feeding James to a hungry Acromantula.

-x-x-x-x-

(A/N: Hmm.. it certainly has been a while. You may have noticed that my other story is on pause for the moment, I think I may re-write it.. I'm not sure where this story is headed either. So I need to hear your opinions and if you have any suggestions for Hermione Granger and the Preposterous Prophecy keep me posted : Merry Christmas. P.S: isn't James a perfect little ray of sunshine?)


	2. Joy to the Timmy

**The Knight In Shining Armor & Loser in Aluminium**

**Chapter 2: Joy To The Timmy**

* * *

Draco Malfoy was a very busy man. 

A very busy man indeed.

"Johnson, you're fired!" He roared at the terrified assistant.

"Bu- but – but sir, I-" Johnson stuttered.

"No buts! How hard is it to go fetch me a cup of coffee!? Why I could hire a stupid house elf instead of you! I bet they'd know what coffee is! What is it that you got me? DIRT?! This muck is simply unacceptable! TAKE IT AWAY! AND FETCH ME REAL COFFEE THIS TIME!" He hollered.

The poor stuttering assistant -or what was left of him- quickly grabbed the cup of coffee and scurried away like a petrified cockroach that didn't recognize its left or right.

Draco Malfoy shook his head at the pathetic man's attempt of scurrying.

"You call that fast?! My dead grandmother Druella is faster than you!" Draco continued. "Run away little man!"

* * *

'I'm not going back in there, that guy's crazy!' Johnson thought to himself and drank the coffee.

* * *

"Good help is so hard to find these days." He massaged his temples and sat back down on his expensive black leather chair-the kind that spins, mind you. 

He stared out of the window of his gigantic company and sighed.

'Well father, here I am, are you proud of me yet?' He smirked.

Someone knocked on his door, interrupting his thoughts.

"Sir, its 5'oclock." His secretary informed.

"Excellent." He shooed his secretary away and packed some papers into his briefcase, thankful that the long agonizing day was over. He knew that the next day, he would have a very important mission and it would be a very busy day.

After all, Draco Malfoy was a very busy man.

* * *

Draco woke up to a very cold yet beautiful morning, beaming rays of sunshine were visible, the flowers were gasping for air out of the remaining virgin snow- let's cut the crap- obviously, Malfoy was not a morning person… 

"Bloody winter." He groaned and yawned as he looked at the alarm clock next to him. "Fan-bloody-tastic, I'm running late" He scrambled out of bed and got dressed as fast as he could.

* * *

"Mister Malfoy, so good to see you again." A greasy haired man appeared, obviously not pleased to see Draco at all. 

"Ah yes, Mr. Borgin. Do you have the _item_?"

"Right here." He patted an object wrapped around thick layers of cloth.

"Hmm…" Draco eyed the object wearily.

"And do you have the money?" Mr. Borgin sharply inquired.

"Right here." Draco mimicked holding what seemed to be a large amount of galleons. "But before I give you this amount of money I need to see the object for myself.

The man named Mr. Borgin snapped his fingers and immediately two of the men behind him grabbed the object he was holding and carefully unwrapped it.

"Tom Riddle's spell book"

"And you'll never get to keep it," He accio-ed the money from Draco's hands. "Goodbye Mister Malfoy." Mr. Borgin continued in his false sugar coated voice. Two men equipped with wands appeared threatening to curse Malfoy.

Malfoy did the most astonishing thing,-he smirked.

At least 50 aurors appeared from their hiding places at the dock, each one owned a wand.

Malfoy inspected his nails in a bored manner. "Now Mr. Borgin, about that book…"

Mr. Borgin did the least sensible thing and ran. His face was greeted by the chest of a rather large and scary looking ministry official. Mr. Borgin gulped, and smiled nervously at the man. The man only grunted and narrowed his eyes.

"Pleasure doing business with you Mr. Borgin." Malfoy said as he took the book and money from the quivering man's hands.

* * *

"Mister Malfoy!" A 5 year old boy rushed over and hugged Draco as he got out of his red Ferrari. 

"Where were you Mister Malfoy?" He asked politely.

Draco winked at him, "Chasing some bad guys."

Now that made him excited, "Oh wow! Golly Mister Malfoy are you like superman?" Draco felt as though the kid's grey eyes were going to pop out any second.

He smirked and replied, "Something like that Timmy." He ruffled the boy's black hair.

"What's going on out here?" A kind old lady appeared with a smile on her face.

"Nothing Granny" Timmy said.

"Hello there Mr. Malfoy." Her blue eyes twinkled, reminding Draco of Professor Dumbledore.

"Good day Mrs. Walker."

"Guess what Mr. Malfoy!" The excited Timmy tugged on Draco's suit.

"What Timmy?

"Gran says its Christmas tomorrow!"

"You don't say?" Draco smiled at the excited little boy. "What do you reckon Santa will get you young man?"

"Umm... I'm not sure." Tim heaved a sigh, "I'd like a mommy and daddy." He finally decided.

That broke Draco's heart, and apparently his grandmother's.

"I- uh" Draco's felt his voice go hoarse.

"Aren't you happy here with me, Timmy?" His grandmother sensed Draco's shock.

"Oh yes granny but-" He wasn't sure how to tell his grandmother how he felt. Everyone at school had a mother and father, and only he lived with his grandmother.

"Tell you what Timmy, how about we go on a vacation?" Draco said excitedly, "I'm not sure why I didn't think of that earlier! In fact why don't we all go on a vacation? What do you say Mrs. Walker?"

"Timmy can go with you while I stay behind, I'm not so sure these old legs can get out of the house anymore."

"That's a shame; we'd really love to have you with us." Draco said sincerely.

"But where would we go Mr. Malfoy?" Little Timmy asked.

"I've read about some Princess Cruise Lines, I guess they're heading off to the Caribbean ." Draco answered.

"Yaay!" The little boy started jumping up and down.

Draco felt a smile tugging on his lips. He looked up and his eyes met with Mrs. Walker's 'take care of him' they said, Draco nodded and told Timmy to start packing.

* * *

Hermione Granger needed a break. 

James' visiting wasn't something she had in mind.

"Hermione open up buttercup!" He was outside banging on the door.

She made a big effort not to make any noise so he would think she wasn't there and finally leave.

A newspaper was in her lap as she sipped a cup of tea.

* * *

"**Princess Cruise Lines**

The sun-drenched shores of the Caribbean await your arrival! If you want to do more than just get away, cruise the Caribbean with **Princess Cruise Lines**.

Sailing an impressive choice of itineraries year-round. You can leave your worries behind and discover a world of sunning, swimming, playing and relaxing.

Cruises ranging from 6 to 11 days, you'll have more time and a lot more fun as you sail on board the youngest and most amenity-filled ships in the region, with an incredible array of activities and entertainment options..."

* * *

'Sounds like fun' Hermione thought. 'Perhaps I should go on this cruise to get away from James and relax a bit. 

She started packing her clothes and shrunk the rest of her stuff into her suitcase to make sure nothing would happen to it, she did this very quietly since James was still banging on her door. Then she apparated to the only place she could think of, -Aurora's house.

* * *

(A/N: You'll find out who Aurora is next time. I cut a lot of things in this chapter that's why it's too short, I was going to make Aurora Timothy's older sister but decided it wouldn't work out! You'll find out why later xP Thanks to lindsay, Celebrytie Foraire, zaly, ginsensu & DarkWolfX ! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year) 


End file.
